Nadine Dorries is in Birmingham – and it’s fantastic.

Medals of the Commonwealth Games by Dixy52, Wikimedia Commons

Sporty spice! Nadine Dorries has been temporarily removed from her very special own and very, very eager Truss-supporting (sozzers) campaignette.

Nadine Dorries is in Birmingham. And it’s fantastic.

A momentary diversion for this bizarre Secretary of State, now that the glitter and dust has settled on her UK-hosts-Eurovision triumph.

‘Fantastic’ she tweeted.

Dorries pops the folder marked ‘Sport’ into her overnight and heads north.

Ghastly and Worse are currently pretending to include The Poor, as their hustings begin in The Even Northier North. Nadine will be shedding advice to Truffles on her WhatsApp group ‘The Girls’ – as the two Top Tories rip the shit out of each other.

But fear not. Dorries is in ‘fantastic’ Birmingham, bigging up the ‘fantastic’ Commonwealth Games. She’s currently telling us that it will echo the fantastic 2012 Olympics.

‘We haven’t had a sporting event like this in the UK since 2012’ – she trills.

Because of course, not a single sporting event has happened in the last ten years. Glasgow 2014 anyone?

The games will leave a ‘fantastic’ atmosphere for Birmingham, for years to come. Fantastic.

Inclusivity is her next ramble.

Dorries voted against same sex marriage.

Her response to Charlie Stayt on BBC Breakfast, on why she tweeted about Sunak going to Teeside in a posh suit and dear shoes, is gold. Operatic even.

On her beloved Johnson, (currently bribing the mostly German Pfizer elves that he was their little helper) and his fall?

‘It was a coup’.


On the second largest city in the UK, with its five internationally lauded footy teams?

‘It’s putting Birmingham on the map, it’s putting The West Midlands on the map’.

Careful on your way to your hotel, Nadders. You might bump into a theatre, a gallery, or gawd forbid, a symphony hall.

Nadine Dorries has just invented Birmingham.

Now THAT’s fantastic.