Oh good! A new bank! Letter to the editor

Dear West Country Voices,

I saw this chap on TV the other day. Odd cove, but apparently one of us, albeit with a strange haircut and not quite the right accent. Lee something or other.

Anyway, he said that we can feed ourselves for 30 pence per meal, if we can be bothered to cook from scratch.

So I thought I’d try it out.

So the very next morning I grabbed the Purdey and headed out onto the estate, bagged a pheasant after a couple of minutes and only used one cartridge, which is unusual for me!

Took it back to the house and got the gamekeeper to pluck it…pleasant chap!

Fiona popped it into the Aga with a few potatoes, other veggies and just a smattering of truffle from our place in Tuscany.

It was delicious. I have been working out the costs. Cartridge 95p, spuds 50p, other veggies about a pound. Well, it fed three of us, but at about 80p each!

In the light of this failure, I thought I’d better visit my bank, Coutts, to see why this Food Bank place is so much better on economy.

I was met at the door by Crispin, jolly nice chap, who took me up to a consulting room – lovely walnut table!

He went through my account and suggested that stuff wasn’t that good.

“Have you any outstanding creditors?” he asked.

“No they are a pretty ordinary bunch,” I replied.

Apparently, the food bank is not a real bank but somewhere poor people go who can’t afford to eat, although Lee says it’s not just the poor who use these banks.

Wish he’d fessed up that he’d got that wrong; it would have saved an awful lot of trouble.

Ian Jacques

Foodbanks in the UK

West Country Voices stands with Jack Monroe aka Bootstrap Cook. You can donate to the Trussell Trust :